I couldn't have said it any better.

Mickey Avalon

Fuck I wish I went...

Do you understand?

There's only so much you handle, only so much you can take

But when it comes down to it... You have no idea about anything

And you will never understand me, nobody will.

Sorry?

I'm not okay...

I'm sorry that it's hard to pretend everything is fine...

I don't want to make you upset...

But I'm sorry I can't forget what's been done...

I'm sorry it goes through my mind at least 3 times a day...

It makes no sense though... You did the wrong thing but still, you're a cunt about it.

I can't help but question everything.

Once again - SORT YOURSELF OUT

A BIG FUCK YOU TO YOU!

!!!

TOM

I can't describe the feeling you give me!

It's probably the best feeling in the world

When I'm with you, I never want to leave you

When I'm not with you, all I want is to be with you

You're always on my mind and hey guess what...

I love you!

Hehe.

Books

I would like a million

Whatever... It's fucking hilarious

To Write Love On Her Arms

I want a shirt or a poster right now!!!!. "To Write Love On Her Arms" is really inspiring. Love is the movement :)

Ouch.

It's time for a new canvas to paint.

Insomnia.

I'm trying to sleep, but the voices in my head are too loud, and I'm remembering all those things you did. So I turn to my side and face the wall, and breathe slowly. Close my eyes, open them, close them once more. I see his face now, you know, the boy I told you about. Now, I know I wont be able to sleep. I suppose this is why most people are insomniacs; the voices wont go away, the memories keep coming back, and people haunt them in the darkness of the night. I turn the lights on, sit on the edge of my bed and cry. I cry for hours. I turn the lights off and try and sleep again; it's going to be a long night.

Nothing.

You fucked it up. You fucked us up. You broke my trust. I doubt I'll ever trust you again. A relationship is nothing without trust. We are nothing. I hope it was worth it.

Fat?

Not cool.

I never realised how fucked things are 'till you mentioned it. Wow.... Just wow.

Try it sometime.

FUCK OFF.

I hate you all.

Sorry...

I'm sorry I spent more time with my friends than I said I would have. You need to understand that I really haven't done anything wrong. I would love for you to be there but unfortunately it just wouldn't work due to conflict. I know you guys don't get a long but I still want to hang out with her. I hang out with you, I hang out with her. You're just being selfish. It's unfair. You hang out with your friends all the time, why can't I?

You know I'm not well yet you still over react and some how make me feel like I've done the most terrible thing a person could do. You told me to rethink how I treat you. I'm sorry I don't treat you the way you'd like to be treated. I try my hardest to be a good girlfriend but that's all I can do. If you're unhappy about the way I treat you then do something about it. I can't keep feeling like this because you decide to over react. It's not healthy for me. I can't do it. I don't know how to deal with it. Your actions have consequences. Consequences that you don't seem to understand.

I know.

I do everything wrong. I am not worth your time. I am not worth anybody's time. Why am I even here? Now I'm angry.

Mind>heart?

What do we do when our minds tell us that we should be with one person and our hearts tell us we should be with another?. Do we listen the well known saying "follow your heart" or do we listen to what we know is right?. Following your heart is meant to lead you to happiness because it's what you truely want but what happens when you hurt others along the way? Are we meant to care about them or what we've done? Or are we just meant to continue going for what we really want?. Personally I think following your heart is too complicated. I'd definitely follow what my mind tells me. Thats usually the right thing to do.

Slut

What the fuck are you doing.
You're the biggest fucking slut.
It's actually embarrassing to call you my friend.
Quit the mind-fucking and make your decision.

WHY.

Why are you trying so hard to get their approval?
Quit putting me down so you seem 'cool'.

Goon + Bondi.

Drinking goon.
Travelling far.

Taking ugly photos.

Screaming at random people.

Laughing.

Being cute in doc's.

D&Ming.

Meeting new and lovely people.

Falling over.

Smoking indoors.

Embarrassing ourselves.

Trying to act sober when seeing cops.

Vomit, vomit, vomit.

Going into a random person's backyard.

Missing buses.

Meeting strange people.

Laughing.

Reading horoscopes.

Trying to make sense of the horoscopes.

Trying to relate our horoscopes to the current situation.

Passing out on the train.

Managing to get off the train.

Being really, really cold.

Going home.
Eating migoreng.

Having a really, really long sleep.

Hello Saturday night.

Dear best friend.

You are the greatest person I have ever met. I am so grateful of everything you have done for me. I've known you for almost six years and you're still here. I can talk to you about absolutely anything. I can trust you with anything and you understand me, you don't judge me for anything I have done/say to you. You know how to cheer me up at my lowest. I like spending days with you to get my mind off everything. We've been through a lot. I hope you know that I'm always here for you. I love you :)

Understanding.

It's finally clear.

MTP - PRODUCTION DRAWINGS.

This is the front of the dress I designed.


This is the back of the dress I designed.

They're just my draft production drawings. I know they need improvement :).

The bodice of the dress is made out of synthetic white material with embellishment - crystal gems. The skirt of the dress is made out tulle.

Thomas Emmett Edward Carter.

I really do love you :) 31-07-09

Stupid boy.

What the fuck are you doing sir?.

You said you hated her and that she was a 'rank bitch'.

Why the fuck are you on the tune to her then?
What's changed? Oh right, you're just going out of your way to make someone else upset.

I hate to break it to you but, you're failing.

Serendipity.

I have wanted the word 'serendipity' tattooed on me for quite a few years now. When I tell people about it they're like "what the hell, thats so stupid". The word has relevance to my life. It means something to me. It's not only my favourite word but it also is what I like to believe is possible.

Serendipity;
ser·en·dip·i·ty
3. An instance of making such a discovery.
1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery.


It's kinda like fate - a predetermined future. Everything happens for a reason.
You know it.

Fuck off.

My head is constantly rushing with thoughts.
I just can't stop thinking.
I'm so fucked up.

Remember?

You said you would never talk me down to anyone because you respect me?.. You did and it fucking hurt.

Procrastination

It's funny how I have two assignments due next week yet I've spent almost two hours reading through other peoples blogs. I just can't stop.

I miss you.

We barely speak anymore. This isn't normal. I've noticed... Have you?

Unfair.

Remember when you were little and your mum said "Treat people the way you want to be treated?". My questions are... Why doesn't that apply to our lives anymore?. Why can people just treat you like shit and not care?. Why do people think it's okay, that they haven't done anything wrong?. If I were to do the things you do to me, you probably would have stabbed me by now. But don't worry, it's okay... It's okay because you're doing it to me.

Intense.

Everything is a little hard to cope with right now. I'm way too stressed out and upset about absolutely everything. I want this feeling to go away.

Change.

Well I'm not sure if I'm over reacting but I'm pretty sure you've changed a hell of a lot. I want to go back to the times when we'd lay in bed for hours on end talking absolute shit and cuddling. I want to go back to the days when we'd spend a weekend night together watching movies and eating pizza and neither of us cared we could be out at a party getting off our face. I want to go back to the days when I'd wake up to a cute message and I'd know I was all you thought about all day and I want to know that when you get home from work the only thing you want to do is call me or see me. I want to lay next to you and feel you close to me. I miss that. I feel like we never have days like that anymore. Can you please remind me you love me?

City And Colour - The Girl

I wish I could do better by you,
Cause its what you deserve.
You sacrifice so much of your life,
In order for this to work.
While I'm off chasing my own dreams,
Sailing around the world,
Please know that I'm yours to keep,
My beautiful girl.

When you cry a piece of my heart dies,
Knowing that I may have been the cause,
If you were to leave,
fulfil someone else's dreams,
I think I might totally be lost.

You don't ask for no diamond rings,
No delicate string of pearls,
That's why I wrote this song to sing,
My beautiful girl.

I like to think you care.

Show me that you care. It doesn't seem like you do. Do you care? The slightest bit?

I love you.

Perfect morning, perfect company :)

This isn't right.

What the FUCK are you doing?

Being pushed away.

How am I meant to feel?

New.

Lets go for a drive. Take me somewhere I've never been before.

You don't.

You just don't care anymore.

Reality.

I drink coffee like it's water.
I brush my hair way too often.

I am self conscious all the fucking time.

I don't go to the beach.
I dislike most people.

I want to be strong.

I want you to want me.

I like boring things.

I want to be good enough for you.

I need more clothes.

I drink a can of coke a day.

I need to be skinny.

My head is a terrible place to be.

I drink my problems away.

I like my cat.

My bestfriends mean everything to me.

I smoke because I don't know what else to do.

I judge you.

You make me hate myself.

England?.

I'm going to London at the end of the year.

I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom.

I have never felt this way about another human being in my entire life. It's a crazy feeling, a good feeling. I can safely say that not only do I love you but I am in love with you. You make me feel special, like I'm not like any other girl. You laugh at my insecurities and try your hardest to make me feel better. I love you for that. I want to thank you for the way you make me feel. I want to thank you for being there for me when I've needed you the most. I never seem to get the time to tell you these things because it's always irrelavent to our conversation. I really hope you're reading this. You are amazing and a great person. If someone asked me to change a single thing about you I honestly wouldn't know what to say. You are perfect... Well perfect for me at least. I love absolutely everything about you. I can't describe the feeling I get when you hold me, when you spoon me, when you touch me. I guess there isn't a word for everything. Yeah and sure we have had our ups and downs but it has only brought us closer together. You are my first love and you are my bestfriend.

Fuck everything.

I hate everything that has happened in the past few months. Everything is fucked up and different. A little something called change perhaps?.

Fuck drifting away from people you care about. Fuck fights over absolutely nothing. Fuck crying over stupid shit. Fuck people living in the past. Fuck people judging you for the mistakes you have made. Fuck people who tell you how to live your life. Fuck school. Fuck getting old. Fuck over-thinking shit. Fuck people who stop caring. Fuck people that let you down and dissapoint you. Fuck people for not keeping promises. But hey, most of all... Fuck you. FUCK YOU!

Op shopping.

I am going op shopping tomorrow.

I am excited.

Design.

I have drawn 997538753 dresses today.

I still can't design the perfect formal dress for this year.

Fuck this.

All Time Low - Weightless.

I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere.

This is my reaction to everything I fear cause I've been going crazy.

I don't want to waste another minute here.

Costello's.

Drunken nights with good company is always fun.